MOVING AHEAD WITH AKSHAY: FINDING LOST TREASURE

One year. We made it through November 29th and 30th with images from last year flashing through mind space.  This day, last year -the 1st of December 2016, Akshay’s final farewell in Bangalore saw a spontaneous surge of humanity come together. Pride, sorrow and gratitude in perfect harmony. We stood together to salute a brave young person who had put India above all else. As expected, painful and difficult days for each of us, and yet, communicating with all of you has helped us more than I can express in words.

After being through the unimaginable, we now feel that things can only look up from Nadir.

As part of the first year remembrance, Akshay and Chittaranjan were honoured on 29th November, in their Karmabhoomi, Nagrota,by their unit. Sangeeta, Neha, Pradish and Dhruv represented our family at the ceremonial wreath laying, bust unveiling and mandir-gurudwara pujas.  The solemn ceremonies I am sure, brought solace to every member of the fauji family as well. Sangeeta in particular also got to meet close friends, and we were happy to see her return much happier than when she left.

At home in Bangalore, Girish, Naina, Sarit, Deshu and me attended an Honour function for Akshay at the local Government school. Organised by volunteers of Sadahalli village, we were pleasantly surprised and very happy to see local residents take ownership over celebrating Akshay’s martyrdom. Posters of Akshay lined the road and the function was attended by about 300 school children, many government and local panchayat functionaries and the DC. Everyone voiced their pride in our soldiers, expressed gratitude and hailed Akshay’s valour and sacrifice in defending the motherland. To see that respect for our protectors runs deep is reason enough, to hold on to hope, whenever negativity threatens.

As only he can, Akshay himself continues to guide us through life ahead. Here are verses of a poem from Akshay’s pen- when exactly he wrote it, I am not sure. Today, it seems to be a message meant for us. We have so much more to learn from our child.

MOVING ON

The soul needs time

A short and simple while

To grieve

For the pain in the heart

Hidden with all might

Must die

Hope must replace despair

Though all might not seem fair

To you 

Light must brighten up the dark

Though it might be hard

It must

Faith must overtake hopelessness

Though it might seem helpless

At present

Peace must overtake worry

Though it cannot be done in a hurry

But slowly, it must

Joy should replace tears

Though the pain is hard to bear

It must

Fate has to be fought alone

Battles won and lost alone

And life must go on

Cruel as it may seem

For life is not a dream

Face it with courage

There can be no greater blessing for Girish and me that a child, like Akshay, was born into our home. So, this post is going to be forward looking.

And it is that time of year again- Akshay-Neha’s ‘Happy Birthday’ in a few days from now. This time, I am sharing with all of you, letters within a letter to the twins. I do hope that somehow, the contents of this post will resonate with all of you.

Dearest Neha and Akshay,

Even as I get down to writing this post in advance of your birthday, I am happy to have complete clarity on this joyous event in our lives. Your birthdays will always be celebrated together. God willed it that way, when he blessed papa and me with double the joys on 6th Dec 1985.

Akshay, after you made the supreme sacrifice last year, just 7 days before your birthday, as a family we were in so much pain. Yet, we were unanimous in deciding to celebrate your life and times, rather than going to pieces over your physical disappearance from our lives. Even Dadi, traditional, ritualistic Dadi, told me with so much pain in her eyes but strength of conviction in her voice, ‘Akshay ka janam din hamesha manana. Har saal, Neha ke saath. Woh mara nahi. Amar ho gaya hai. (Always celebrate Akshay’s birthday. With Neha’s, every year. He has not died. He has become immortal).

And celebrate we did, didn’t we Neha? Naina ended up cutting Akshay’s 31st birthday cake with you, surrounded by grandparents, elders, cousins and close friends. So, whatever else may change over time, nothing can change the fact that for us, you two always have, and always will, share your birthday celebration. 

On that happy note, look what I found just last week! An old poem to you and Akshay that has resurfaced, thanks to a fb friend who ‘Liked’ it. I had found it in 2014, while spring-cleaning your room. Preserved since your 14th birthday. And true to form, it was Akshay who had immediately reacted to my post. You, my beautiful girl, one who ‘keeps a low profile in terms of being public,’ stayed quiet. Well, here it is again. The same poem by a bad poet- your mom! Akshay, wherever you are, you must be having a good laugh at your sister and mother?!  

Finding this poem made me look for another letter I had written to you both on your 25th Birthday.  I found it on email(technology the savior?). More precious is Akshay’s response to that letter. You were then in different countries and while you stayed quiet, he decided to write on your behalf too.  

Dear Mumma and Papa,

I can’t express how much happiness n satisfaction it gives me n neha to have u in our lives… im at a loss of words to express how much we both cherish what we have from u and in u… and how much i depend even now on u both to take any decision that i do… actively or passively…. 

In any act i do in my life, be it love or career or just plain decisions, ur teachings and attitude of living life itself helps me make the right choices… stay focused and enjoy life while doin it all…. with ur presence in life… everything just becomes simple, painless… and satisfying…. and to see u both support neha n me, both of us in everything we have done in life, makes us such strong people… i have often thought n believe that u both are the most perfect parents any child could have… and we could’nt have asked anything more out of life itself….. 

This birthday….  and also on regular days… it often troubles me that we are all not in the same country… missing neha ever so much and not being able to do anything about it… thinking of her and just wondering how she is and of all the beautiful times we have spent together. cherishing every moment of what we have….. i reallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy miss her… and i want the best for her and want her to achieve everything she wants to in life… im sooooooo happy that she has taken the decision to come back.. and that we can get back to planning life more easily… and that i can just fly and see her at the drop of a hat….. 

Ur mail has just given me the wigglies in my belly…. missing the three of u and us together ever soooooo much…. im so proud to say that im not only the mummas boy but also the papas boy.. even now… and im owning upto it…. through all the soldierly-ness that  i show… there is this side of me which is still a boy … ur boy….. and im gonna keep that forever…. I LOVE IT…… 

I know im writing too fast… and the thoughts are racing…. and the mail is not very well drafted….  but im almost shivering with the joy of memories…..

Thank you for everything mumma and papa…. thank you for neha too…. she’s perfect.. 

love u…… loads……………………………………………….

Akshay

Akshay was the perfect one. And yet, he thought we were perfect. This is what my letter of 6th December 2010 had said.

Dear Neha and Akshay,

25 years….Gosh! Two and half decades since our tiny bundles of joy entered this world and it seems like just the other day that papa and I became parents! What can I say to two young people on the threshold of charting their independent paths…. making decisions…. be it for career or love and beyond….at around the same age I was, when you were first placed in my arms…. wrapped up in soft blankets ……I had looked at you for the first time with wonder and so many emotions…. and I remember, how in that one moment, all the difficult times, the ill health, the fears and stress due to a difficult pregnancy, had vanished forever.

Today, am missing you both more than I can express. For the first time, we haven’t even been able to send you new clothes or a gift on your special day. Do you remember the times I had penned poems and letters for you? Wondering what to give you this birthday- you are grown up and can buy yourself whatever you want! Last night, on the flight from Bangalore, was feeling both low and high at the same time. Low because you guys are far away and high because all the memories of your birth were mirrored in the mind and felt deep in the heart. It was as if time stood still while a vivid recollection played like a movie. You must have heard this story before, but, id still like to tell you details of how we were blessed.

I had been in the hospital ward so long …a whole month… after an un-diagnosed fever and PIH (pregnancy induced hypertension). The hospital staff and many patients had become friends. Avva, tata, dadi and chitti mama had been regular, worried visitors.

When Dr. Dey came it late at night on 5th December and told me he couldn’t wait any longer and risk my losing a baby, I strangely felt no fear. In fact, call it intuition or over-confidence, I remember feeling completely safe in his care and confident that my babies would be fine. Slept peacefully and was awakened at 5.45 am to a sense of urgency in the ward. Soon, I was rushed into the OT. I remember being helped onto the high bed and in seconds, anaesthetic peace took over. There was a hazy sense of floating above the team of doctors and nurses in the brightly lit room as they worked quickly and efficiently. Then a happy slumber! 

Believe it or not, long before Dr. Dey was gently tapping me to wake from the anaesthesia, I knew you were a daughter and son! Déjà vu…..?! As Sonu and Chotu, you had arrived and you were the cutest, most lovable little ones ever! Its fast forward to your 25th…. and what a wonderful journey its been for papa and me. The doting, ever supportive grandparents and extended family have also enjoyed you and always been there for all of us.

Wish we could all have been together on this special silver jubilee Bday but that’s life, and each of us will walk where destiny takes us. I have been so lucky to have wonderful parents, papa, chitti mama and you both in my life. So many dear friends, other kids, teeny and many of God’s creations have given me much to be thankful for. I have also tried to be a good daughter, wife, mother, family member, friend, worker and person but there have been many times when I have fallen short. Papa of course has always made up for my faults. Just want you both to know that I love you very-very much and am so proud of you for being the most caring, loving, understanding kids- thank you for being our little ones. Am certain you will build excellent relationships, succeed in whatever you want to do, always be humane and contribute to greater good in this world.

Love you Neha and Akshay and know you do not need parental advice but saying what I feel from the heart. The two of you have shared a tiny, dark space for 8th months before breathing air….. then smiled, cried, played, fought and been there for each other for 25 years. Remember to cherish that bond even as you spread your wings over time and space and touch many more people’s lives. Know you will spread the smiles and be there for people who care and for everyone and everything around you.

Akshay, we are eagerly looking forward to seeing you in a new ‘husband’ role as we welcome Sangeeta into the family. Neha, we wish you a happy home coming and all that your heart desires – a new job and hopefully, a special someone too! Have fun kiddos and also be prepared at all times to take the rough with the smooth, for life is a journey- sometimes easy, sometimes difficult.  You have already experienced some highs and lows and that is how it is going to be. However, at times when the journey is really hard and things look bleak, remember there’s light beyond every tunnel and a silver lining to each cloud. Keep faith and chin up and smile and say ‘all is well’!

Just in case am not around or destiny separates us, here’s a touching forward- one I want to wish for you this special day.

Lots of love and God bless and Happy birthday once again to our big little kids!

Mumma and papa

The letter, seven years ago, had quoted a now famous story of a conversation between a father and daughter in their last moments together. I had thought about my own mortality then, as parents often do, and written to the kids. Who knew then that Akshay would go first…and so early? Here, once again are the parting lines of ‘I wish you enough’ by Bob Perks

“I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.

I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.

I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.

I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.

I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I wish enough “Hello’s” to get you through the final “Goodbye.”

Going by instinct, I do feel this connection with all of you this past year must also have a purpose. I do not know what mine is yet but maybe, one day, I will. Akshay lived his life making sure he gave more than enough to all of us, even as he pursued his own happiness.  He also had a larger purpose and he probably knew that. Maybe it was Gods will that he was placed in service of the nation on that fateful day.

May each of us also find and pursue our purpose this life. Meanwhile, may God bless us all with enough. Let us all try and make the most of our time on earth.

Best wishes for Eid -e Milad and a Merry Christmas in advance.

As always, I look forward to your comments and suggestions.

Love and Regards,

Meghna.

 

47 thoughts on “MOVING AHEAD WITH AKSHAY: FINDING LOST TREASURE

  1. Meghna, its just tears all over, reading both moms n her Raja betas letters. Its so nice of u to share them with us, strangers. Emotinally draining for me atleast. Hope Naina cuts Akshays cake this year n every year henceforth.
    Just a suggestion, y don’t u share all ur fb posts to his page too. I don’t know if its possible.
    Hugs n lots of strength to u dear.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Truly heart-touching blog ma’am! Such wonderful memories! Your letter to your children on their 25th bday is so beautiful that you inspire me to do something similar to my children!
    Major Akshay’s poem on “Moving On” is beautiful! Very matured, such profound meaning underlying the words! Feels like he had already foreseen what would happen and written this to you and all his dear ones. With each passing day and each information shared by you, I see more and more divinity in Maj. Akshay. We as a Nation are truly blessed to have had him.
    Ma’am, today I could feel some kind of acceptance and pleasantness in your blog. May God give you more of that! Keep up the spirit going Ma’am!
    Wishing you all more happiness and peace in the coming days! Jai Hind!

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    • I am also stunned at Akshay’s poems Gowri. Many people are saying he has achieved his purpose. The loss is entirely ours and as long as he is at peace, we will cope. Thank you for your thoughts and staying connected. Love and God bless

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  3. Dearest Maghana Ma’am, I had you, Girish sir, Sangeeta, Naina, Neha & everyone in your families in my thoughts & prayers on Monday. I wish you all strength every moment of your lives.

    As always, thank you for sharing your thoughts & feelings with us.

    You know, as much as your post brought a few tears to my eyes, I still managed to smile all along. Such is the strength of your resolve to pick the positives from life & find a way to honour and treasure Akshay’s presence in your lives by remembering the happiness he and Neha brought to you both and to people around you. I love the way each one of you has celebrated his life this year. For people we love deserve to be celebrated!

    Akshay’s poem reflects the beautiful mature soul that he seems to have been even in one so young. One would think he knew way more than most people knew about life & death! Maybe he did, maybe he was just deeply reflective, maybe he just knew how to string those beautiful words into a poem…but whatever it was …it is truly inspirational. There is so much to learn from these moments in life. I hope we all do.

    I know that the pain & vacuum that he leaves behind is too big to be dulled any time soon but I hope you keep finding reasons to live & laugh. Akshay deserved it & so do all of you beautiful people.

    Happy happy birthday to Akshay & Neha and to dear little Naina! May the tradition continue!

    Sending you loads of positivity, love & hugs with this note!
    Warmest regards & season’s greetings to you of you too!!

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    • Your thoughts and positivity do make a difference so please keep them coming our way. Thank you for the good wishes and yes, Naina will cut her papa’s cake with Neha. Love and God bless to you all. Take care.

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  4. Aunty , its so full of emotions! The peom by Akshay ,, Has such an underlying meaning to it now , and your letter to the twins is so befitting. You totally pour your heart into words ! Its amzing to read ! you are an inspiration for every mother!
    Love and regards!

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  5. Hi Maa,

    How are you?? Anna( Brother in telugu) will always be with us Ma. As a mother of that great person who sacrificed everything for the country, you are mother to all of us. Don’t feel lonely because we all are your children who thinks about you and loves you lot although we are not equal to that great person, but loves you lot, Ma. God’s blessings will always be with you and your family. Please share all your feelings. Convey my wishes Neha Akka(sister). Take care of you and family. Pass it on my love to little princess Naina. Although I’m a stranger to you, but I always thinks about u, Sangeetha Ji, and Naina. I wish god to give every possible happiness.

    Thanks Ma.
    With loads of Love,
    Prathima.

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  6. Dear Meghana,
    Was waiting to hear from you. Gives a lot of solace to read your blogs. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the letters written so beautifully to your children and Akshay’s letter so well written and heart warming. So many treasures to cherish….so much to remember….Akshay will stay in our memories forever!
    Loads of good wishes to Neha and lil Naina when they cut the cake together and happy birthday Akshay!
    Lot of warm wishes and hugs to you Meghana ! May you and your family have peace and happiness once again in your lives.

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  7. Hello Meghna Aunty,
    I have been following your blog for the last 1 year and continue to do so. I always look forward to reading your blogs. You are such an inspirational mother full of strength. Please do continue writing as it gives a lot of solace to read your blogs. Would love to meet you someday. I am from Bangalore but currently residing in US. Sending you lots of hugs and wishes.

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  8. Thank you for sharing the beautiful poem that Ashay wrote… its the true essence of how one should live their life … you have penned your thoughts beautifully and it caused an upheaval of emotions and got me choking with tears… im so happy that you will be celebrating his birthday alomg with his twin sister…. you have helped a lot of people cope with the loss of a loved one too.. sending you strength, courage , grace and love on this journey of life . God bless ♡♡

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      • Hi Megan Aunty ,
        I wants to be friendly with u FB but I am
        Not able to send u the friend request.
        Aunty from they day one I am reading it. Thank u so much for sharing BROTHERAkshay’s letters & poems . Pls keep writing u r such an inspirational mother full of strength . Love u all . Give my hugs to Naina & Sangeetha .

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      • Dear Chitra, give me your name as on fb and I will try to send a request. Yes, Akshay was amazing at everything and I still miss him as badly as ever. Thank you for reading and being part of our journey. Will pass on your hugs. Love and take care.

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  9. Hi aunty,

    Loved this blog post aunty, I know I say this for every blog post – but it is true 🙂 On 29th I decided to stay back at home as I was feeling extremely sad, nervous and depressed thinking about you and the entire family, but knew that you all would soar high and lift yourselves to a happier tomorrow.

    I have always been very curious to know about fauji’s life, and followed the news of the martyrs, their families. I always wondered how could parents allow their children to join the army, amused at how soldiers gave their lives for their country. After you started blogging and sharing stories of Akshay I was more intrigued. The other day Ash and I were talking and he said ” Aunty is the voice of every martyrs mother, who is probably not in a position to express herself, her pain, her agony, her pride”. It is so true, with your blogs you have managed to bring together strangers and made them a part of your family. You have given commoners like me an insight into fauji’s life, their value and how one can be inspired by these values. I hope I can continue to learn from you .

    I love these 2 lines from Akshay’s poem:

    For life is not a dream
    Face it with courage!

    I hope you will continue to inspire more and more people in the coming days and years!

    Love,
    Sindhu

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    • You have and always will be very close to my heart Sindhu. Some connections are hard to explain. Love and take care to keep smiling and acing life. That was Akshay’s mantra at all times. God bless.

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  10. In loss of words Maam!!! Its indeed been a tough year for your family! May God give you all the strength to lead the days ahead!!!! I read every post on your blog, and piece together what it must have been knowing Akshay!!!

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  11. Dear Aunty,
    Charan sparsh….
    I always get lots of inspiration and courage from U and UR FAMILY…. Love and wishes to cute NAINU…..
    I was eagerly​ waiting to hear from you.
    It really hurts but one mantra I learned from my dear father ( Whom I dearly miss, lost recently untimely)
    ” ZINDAGI BADI HONI CHAHIYE, LAMBI NAHI”
    Akshay Sir’s life is a inspiration for youths like us.
    AND IT GIVES LOTS OF POSITIVE ENERGY TO US.
    When I feel lonely, depressed, unsecure due to my father’s absence ….. I read this blog twice thrice or whole day sometimes…..
    It really helps…..
    Plz keep it up maa….Take care….

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  12. Dear aunty,
    Reading Maj Akshay’s poem gave me goosebumps.. so much maturity at such a young age. I am amazed. His being more expressive than Neha, his rich experiences in life, a clear heart with so much love and so much communication from him… all these aspects of his nature have really helped all of you cope with the loss.. although i sometimes feel ‘Can someone ever cope with such a loss?’
    He has been the reason why all of us love the little darling Naina so much. So many people and their collective blessings for her will really make this little girl shine bright as much as her papa shines bright in the sky.
    Much love to all of you.
    Ruchi

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    • Me too Ruchi. He was such a contradiction in some ways- childlike joy and mature outlook rolled up with fearlessness and confidence. Blessed child. We were lucky to have him for 30 years. Now he is our brightest star for sure. Love and God bless.

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  13. Thank you aunty for once again for sharing another heart-touching piece from Akshay’s and your lives with all of us. I read and re-read it with tears rolling down the cheeks, before I put down this comment. I feel so fortunate to have come to know you all wonderful people through your posts in the last one year. I have learnt so many life lessons through them – how one should have clear goals in life, move with steadfast focus to achieve once dreams, live a life to the fullest, do something for a bigger cause than just yourself and your close ones, how to be a good parent , help your children dream BIG and let GO when the time comes…..just to name a few…. Thank you so much for choosing to share Akshay’s life with all of us.

    There is so much depth in Akshay’s poem and he pen’s it so beautifully just like you…. He has got it from you aunty. Akshay was truly such a magnificent bundle of talents at the same time a down to earth, beautiful human at heart. I would have missed knowing this inside-out beautiful person if not for your posts.

    The way your whole family has handled his loss in the last one year and chose to celebrate his life on his every Birthday is so inspiring. Every member of your family from little Naina to Akshay’s dadi have demonstrated so much of strength and grace. You and Sangeeta are exemplary……. I watched the video “Awards Zindagi Ke 2017 – Major Akshay Girish” created by Ample Mission and just couldn’t stop my tears but felt a rush of pride…

    Aunty your blogs have not only connected so many of us strangers to Akshay and inspired us , but they are a great source of solace and instrumental in keeping Akshay’s memories alive for everyone associated with him especially little Nainu and Sangeeta. This is sure gonna be a treasure for Nainu as she grows up. I feel you shouldn’t stop this blog but continue to write as and when you feel like it or Akshay invisibly guides you. You have to reach out to many more through his life…

    Thanks again…cheers, Malar

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    • I am happy if sharing Akshay’s story has helped you and others Malar. Akshay will be most happy to know that we as a people have connected over him. I am also sure that Naina will treasure her dad’s memory bank when she grows up. Thank you for reading and reaching out with your thoughtful comments. Dont be upset over tears though- they also can give strength. Love and God bless.

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  14. Dear tai, every word here speaks of the deep love between parents and their children. In a society where men are encouraged to not show their emotions, how wonderful that Akshay never shied away from expressing his love for his family, and so sensitively. His poem, his letter and yours as well – I mean people seem to come to you seeking strength, you are the one comforting all of us commenters. I’m a mother to a soon to be 5 year old little girl. I’m a compete mess right now, thinking of you all. ❤️ Sending you my love.

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    • Dear kavs, Im sure you are a great mother and your little girl knows that. Thank you for your sweet words. Missing Akshay more than ever today- Neha and Akshay’s birthday. Been tough but we did manage a small celebration. Love to you and God bless your family.

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  15. Aunty,read ur blog the poems & the more number of times i read i find peace and solace.i feel so much connected to u through your blogs please do keep this bond going with ur writings.as dadiji said by celebrating Maj.Akshay’s birthday every year with his treasured and loved ones hum saab unki shahadaat ko naman karenge.god bless my awsome fauzi family,ur always in my thoughts & prayers.love u all.tkcr.

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    • Hello Aunty ,
      Read your blog twice , as if someone is narrating me the whole story .
      Genuinely , This blog of yours will inspire me in some way or other for sure . In 5 mins I have formed a emotional connection with you which is very hard to explain .

      Happy Birthay to dear Akshay Sir 🙂

      Looking forward to reading your blogs from now onwards
      Lots of love to little Naina 🙂

      Regards
      Sanu 🙂

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      • Touched by your words Sanu. Thank you. Yes, somehow Akshay has connected so many of us…dont know why but there must be a reason? Will pass on your love to Naina. Take care. God bless.

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    • How are you keeping Lisa? Take care and enjoy this phase too. Going to be very busy next year! Lots of love to you and God bless all of you.

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  16. Dearest Aunty,

    Hope Naina cuts the cake for Akshay always. Wishing you, uncle, Sangeeta and Neha all smiles and happiness.

    Hope you continue writing and sharing your thoughts with us. Your writing is just magical.

    Really wish to meet you and Sangeeta and obviously the cuto Naina one day in person.

    Lots of love
    Diksha ( Akshay’s coursemate’s wife )

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    • So sweet of you Diksha. Yes, Naina cut the cake with Neha and we have almost got thru a difficult day missing Akshay but also bonding over him. Neha and very I felt low this morning but better now. Love to you and God bless Akshay’s coursemates and friends.

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  17. Dear Aunty,
    Your always write straight from your heart and pen it down in the best possible way a civilian could do. Akshay had lived his life to his best and reached the next level on a very high note. All salute and respect for his bravery and very many good values he had lived with. He still continues to live through Naina and your writing inspiring many. I still remember the poem of a da to his daughter that you had once sent me. I’ve imprinted it in my heart. I recently came across Sangeetha’s speech on the remembrance day. very touched. Please do keep writing aunty. Lots of love to you all.
    -Amritha

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    • Sangeeta’s speech was appreciated by all Amritha. Yes, Akshay continues to live in each one of us. That wish you enough is so touching…means so much more when we face deep sorrow. Take care Amritha. Love and God bless you all.

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  18. Dearest Meghna
    No words can describe the pride one feels for Akshay and also his lovely family. In your blogs of the past year you have taught all of us so much. The strength and fortitude shown by you all is an inspiration to many. You have penned so many of Akshay’s poems in the past too and they all have so much depth within. Behind all his dimpled smiles was a deep thinking most wonderful human being that one like me is so proud to have known.
    29th Nov, did not go by without us remembering Akshay . But the best part is you all as a family have kept him alive in your blogs ,in your words and letters.
    The poem you wrote about what as a parent a father leaves behind for his daughter has been on my mind always and have often put it on mail but never forwarded it to my kids. Love and hugs to you all Meghna and yes ,with you we all will also be celebrating Akshay s life long his birthday. Stay blessed wherever you are dear one!

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    • You are very right Gayatri- behind his forever happy persona was a deep thinker…..vision for his life too it seems now…. Thank you so much. We did have a small birthday celebration today. Love and take care

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  19. Dearest Meghana aunty,
    I have been silently following your blogs for the past one month now,and it’s been an absolute pleasure going through these beautiful pieces! As the saying goes,there is no ‘term’ to describe a mother who’s lost her kid,because that grief is the greatest of all.And seeing you emerge from this immense grief makes me see my life and my seemingly tough life ‘problems’ from a whole new lens! Loads of hugs and love to you and your family,and a very happy birthday to the twins! 🙂

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  20. Its just tears allover again, your posts are emotionally draining at least for me, with people around me wondering its been since yesterday with mobile phone in my hand they find me weeping wondering what went wrong at a time when I am supposed to be studying for my upcoming exams, I on the other hand am hung on your blog and have been locking myself up for a good cry every time i finish reading one of your articles…

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    • Please stop reading and focus on your exams for now Bobin. You need to take inspiration from those young stars I write about. The blog is there for later. Best wishes and God bless

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